Breaking the Taboo: Overcoming Libido Challenges in Perimenopause!
Sex — wanting sex, enjoying sex, missing sex, not wanting sex, struggling to orgasm, or even being overly orgasmic… perimenopause can bring some surprising changes to our sexual appetite!
I’ve never been one to shy away from tough topics, so here we go! Hang onto your vibrator!
This is right up there as one of the biggest issues for my perimenopausal clients — also often the last thing they mention, and one of the least spoken about. I’ve heard the odd woman say their libido skyrocketed — and that’s awesome! But by far, the majority struggle with libido.
Some women aren’t bothered by a lack of lust at all — but even if this is you, keep reading. Much of what I’m sharing also relates to vaginal and vulval health, which can suffer during peri and menopause. Even if you’re not bothered about “using it,” you still want to keep it comfortable and healthy, right?
Here are my 6 top libido killers in perimenopause:
Hormonal fluctuations in peri are wild!
Progesterone takes a slow slide, but oestrogen is in constant flux, which plays havoc with our libido (and everything else, lol).
Stress is a libido killer no matter what stage of life you’re in.
For women, it’s even worse because stress reduces progesterone — a hormone that actually helps boost libido.
Exhaustion makes the list, too.
It keeps stress levels high (less progesterone) and energy low, making even a quickie feel like climbing Mount Everest.
Dry vagina due to fluctuating hormones
— nobody’s ever been turned on by that! It can even damage the delicate skin of the vulva and vagina, making sex feel uncomfortable or painful.
Recurrent UTIs and thrush
often flare due to changing hormones and a disturbed vaginal microbiome. The dryness can increase infection risk — both are serious libido killers.
Body image and self-confidence issues.
No matter how many people tell you you’re beautiful and sexy, if you don’t feel it yourself, it’s hard to believe.
Don’t lose heart! These libido “killers” can absolutely be overcome. Your diminished sex drive is not a done deal.
Here are 9 simple ways to boost your libido during perimenopause:
Prioritize good sleep. It might seem impossible in peri, but sleep is crucial. Check out my previous blog for tips: 5 Surprising Benefits of Sleep for Perimenopausal Women.
Eat a balanced diet rich in protein and healthy fats. This supports natural lubrication and libido, plus it helps stabilize blood glucose — because fluctuating blood sugar can seriously mess with desire.
Have sex in the morning when sex hormones tend to be highest. Hormones fluctuate monthly and daily, so morning lovin’ might catch you at your peak!
Use it or lose it. Regular orgasms increase blood flow and nerve sensitivity in vaginal tissues, helping reduce vaginal atrophy later when oestrogen dips further. No partner? No worries — toys are great for this!
Try natural creams like wild yam or fennel oil. They not only lubricate but help keep your vagina in tip-top shape.
Use lubricants during sex. There’s no shame if it’s harder to “get wet” or take longer to orgasm. Coconut oil is a great natural starter — you can thank me later!
Don’t shy away from toys if they help, or if you’re solo. They’re no longer hidden in seedy shops. You can buy online discreetly or visit lingerie shops in major centres that now stock quality toys.
Avoid douches — they destroy your vaginal microbiome. Vaginas are self-cleaning; if there’s a funky smell, it may signal thrush or infection needing professional care. Also, avoid soaps on your vulva as they dry and damage the skin. Instead, moisturize with wild yam or fennel cream.
Work on your self-esteem around your changing body. You are amazing and deserve to feel like a goddess! Start simply with daily affirmations in front of a mirror, such as:
“I am deserving of love and admiration, both from myself and others, based on my inner and outer beauty.”
“I am beautiful just the way I am, and I embrace and love my unique features.”
Affirmations change the way we think and perceive ourselves and the world. Simple but powerful.
You’ve probably noticed by now that libido relies heavily on how you care for your whole body. It doesn’t operate in isolation. When we’re healthy, hormones transition steadily, and we’re rested and nourished physically and emotionally — sex drive follows.
So what’s stopping you from looking after YOU?
I run a comprehensive program called Metabolic Magic, which utilises the world-renowned Metabolic Balance approach to support hormonal balance, stress resilience, nutrition, mindset, and long-term health results. Many women in perimenopause find huge benefits through this program, including improved energy, hormone regulation, and weight management.
If you want long-term hormonal balance and maybe to shed a few pesky kilos, book a Metabolic Mapping Call now to find out how Metabolic Magic can help you. You are worth it!
References
Al-DujailI, E. A. S., & Sharp, M. A. (2012). Female salivary testosterone: Measurement, challenges and applications. Steroids - From Physiology to Clinical Medicine. https://doi.org/10.5772/53648
Edwards, D., & Panay, N. (2015). Treating Vulvovaginal Atrophy/genitourinary syndrome of menopause: How important is vaginal lubricant and moisturizer composition? Climacteric, 19(2), 151–161. https://doi.org/10.3109/13697137.2015.1124259
Sartori, D. V., Kawano, P. R., Yamamoto, H. A., Guerra, R., Pajolli, P. R., & Amaro, J. L. (2021). Pelvic floor muscle strength is correlated with sexual function. Investigative and Clinical Urology, 62(1), 79. https://doi.org/10.4111/icu.20190248
Yaralizadeh, M., Abedi, P., Najar, S., Namjoyan, F., & Saki, A. (2016). Effect of foeniculum vulgare (fennel) vaginal cream on vaginal atrophy in postmenopausal women: A double-blind randomized placebo-controlled trial. Maturitas, 84, 75–80. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.maturitas.2015.11.005