Running on Fumes: Why Motherhood Feels Like a Short Circuit
It’s 5 pm and you’ve been running since your eyes opened.
Coffee for breakfast, the kids' leftover crusts for a snack. You’ve managed to get everyone organized and dressed, brushed hair, and kissed the bumps. You’ve wrangled the family into the car, negotiated lifts, and made sure your partner is up to speed on the week’s logistics.
Lunch was eaten standing or on the run, but you have no idea what you actually ate. The washing, the cleaning, the planning, the organizing… you’ve done it all in one day. And tomorrow, you’ll do it all again, just like you did yesterday.
The Science of "The Mother Load"
The thing we never really talk about is why. Why do we do this day in and day out? Why do we run on fumes, never taking a break, always putting the family first?
The truth is, when we have a baby, our brain undergoes physical and biochemical changes to make us more responsive to our children. Research shows that the transition to motherhood involves significant "remodeling" of the brain, particularly in the amygdala, which becomes enlarged to better detect threats and bond with the infant (Rigo et al., 2019). We are literally hard-wired to detect every tiny facial expression and respond to every cry without a second thought.
When the Wiring Short-Circuits
Initially, it’s just looking after a baby. Then we take on the needs of other family members, the running of the household, school committees, and careers… on and on it goes until we are totally and utterly fried.
When your system is in a state of chronic "over-alertness," the smallest, most insignificant request can cause a complete internal meltdown. Recent studies highlight how chronic stress and perimenopausal transitions can lead to neuroinflammation and oxidative stress, effectively making our "fear response" hyper-sensitive (Liang et al., 2024).
Somewhere along the road, the wiring expanded to take over the whole machine, and suddenly there is NOTHING left for you.
You Aren’t Imagining It
You aren’t crazy, or weak, or failing. The ramifications are very real and present physically:
Dysregulated Cortisol: Powering at all the wrong times (wide awake at 3 am, crashing at 3 pm).
Compromised Digestion: Leading to the "perimenopause bloat."
Nutrient Depletion: Your nervous system isn't getting the fuel it needs to regulate.
An Over-responsive Amygdala: Your "fear center" is on high alert, seeing every minor annoyance as a threat.
Hormonal Chaos: Your ability to handle even minor issues disappears, especially pre-menstrually.
The Basic Survival Plan
You can’t wait until the kids leave home to address this. You don’t want to just survive parenting; you want to enjoy it.
Starting at A:
Put yourself on the priority list. You never needed to "earn" that spot.
Eat 3 meals a day. Just like the ones you organize for everyone else.
Sit down to eat. Stop the "eating on the run" habit that keeps your body in fight-or-flight mode.
15 Minutes of Screen-Free Time. Meditate, sit in the sun, or stroll to reset the system.
Remember who you are outside of motherhood. What do you want for yourself?
If you have to, reframe it: do this for your kids so you can be the mother you want to be. But whatever the reason—just do it.
If you are sick of that "not feeling like yourself" feeling, give me a bell. We can chat about how I can support your nervous system, hormonal balance, sleep, and Metabolic Balance.
You can book a 15-minute discovery call when it’s convenient for you here.
Further reading
Simply Healing is a naturopathic and homeopathic clinic led by Sarah Dobbs, nestled in the rainforest of Kuranda. Just 30 minutes from Cairns. We specialize in Metabolic Balance and holistic health, supporting clients in person across Far North Queensland or online Australia-wide.