Stressed Mum or Perimenopausal? Why It’s Actually Both.
Eeek! Nothing like the confusion of transition to make you question your own sanity. The truth is, you aren't choosing between one or the other. You are likely living in the intersection of both.
The "Sandwich" Reality
Our generation faces a unique squeeze. We had children later, so our own parents are aging just as our kids are hitting those demanding teenage years. We are the "sandwich generation," trapped between caregiving for two generations while simultaneously maintaining a career.
We are one of the first generations where most women are working full-time (while managing the mental load of the household) as they hit perimenopause. It’s quite the shit show. We were never built to do everything, and yet, here we are, expected to just "get on with it." If you’re feeling like you’re "not yourself" lately, you aren't alone; research shows this feeling is strongly linked to a combination of stress, fatigue, and the volatile hormonal shifts of this stage (Coslov et al., 2024).
The Science: Why You Feel Like You’re Losing It
The problem isn't just "perimenopause" or "stress" in isolation. We know now that perimenopause hormonal fluctuations also trigger systemic changes, including oxidative stress and neuroinflammation (Liang et al., 2024).
Here is the kicker: Cortisol (your stress hormone) and Progesterone (your calming hormone) are chemically linked.
In the body, when you are under chronic stress, your system prioritizes survival. It will constantly churn out cortisol to keep you in "fight or flight" mode. Because they share a biological building block, your body essentially "steals" the resources meant for Progesterone to keep fueling the Cortisol fire. As Jean Hailes for Women’s Health notes, the erratic hormone levels during this stage leave many women feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and unable to manage the daily load.
When you add the "double-hormone" house—your own peri-hormones colliding with your teenager's puberty—it’s no wonder your stress buffer is gone. That is why you snap at the kids or lose it over a sock on the floor. It’s not a personality flaw; it’s a biological reaction to a system under siege (Liang et al., 2024).
So, How Do We Manage?
The answer isn't to "stop doing it all" (we know that isn't realistic). The answer is to restore your biological baseline and get your energy back.
Create Sustainable Boundaries:Your energy is finite. If you don't guard it, the world will take it.
Redefine Self-Care: Stop the "cake and coffee" version. True self-care is about nervous system regulation—fresh air, movement, and intentional time alone.
Stabilize the Fuel: A comprehensive assessment of your lifestyle and health is the first step. When your blood sugar is stable, your hormones have a fighting chance.
Are you losing your mind? Nope. You are just running on empty with a dysregulated nervous system. It’s time to stop blaming yourself and start looking at the chemistry.
If you are ready to stop the guessing game and get your metabolic baseline sorted, you can book a 15-minute discovery chat with me here.
References
Coslov, N., Richardson, M. K., & Woods, N. F. (2024). “Not feeling like myself” in perimenopause — what does it mean? Observations from the Women Living Better survey. Menopause, 31(5), 390–398. https://doi.org/10.1097/gme.0000000000002339 Cited by: 16
Liang, G., Kow, A. S. F., Yusof, R., Tham, C. L., Ho, Y.-C., & Lee, M. T. (2024). Menopause-associated depression: Impact of oxidative stress and neuroinflammation on the central nervous system—A review. Biomedicines, 12(1), 184. https://doi.org/10.3390/biomedicines12010184 Cited by: 61
Simply Healing is a naturopathic and homeopathic clinic led by Sarah Dobbs, nestled in the rainforest of Kuranda. Just 30 minutes from Cairns. We specialize in Metabolic Balance and holistic health, supporting clients in person across Far North Queensland or online Australia-wide.