5 Loving Ways to Look after the Mama Bear

Self-care is not usually at the top of a mother’s list to be honest. And yet it is the very foundation of being able to show up as the mother we want to be. Think of self-care as your lifeboat. It will take you safely to shore, keep you well above water and stop you from drowning in the chaos of motherhood.

But what exactly is self-care? That is a brilliant question as far too often we get self-care wrong. Really wrong and it makes everything worse when we do. It is frequently confused with its sister, self-indulgence. They share similar traits but they are distinctly different.  

Self-indulgence is a quick fix, a quick hit of dopamine that feels good at the time but creates problems long term especially when practiced regularly.  Self indulgence feels great in the moment but long term is destructive.

Self-care is generally harder at the time, it’s not always what we want to do but we feel great afterward and when we practice it regularly we start to feel good all the time. Self-care becomes easier over time. Self-care works to support us long term.

Here's some of the easiest ways I know to practice self-care on a daily basis!

1.       Prioritise 3 regular meals a day that you sit down for. Not on the run, but sit down and make time for it. Too often we skip meals leaving our energy levels up and down like a yoyo. We also tend to crave and eat foods that are high in sugar and carbs but low in nutrients when we are very hungry which is self-indulgence. 

Eating on the run means we aren’t digesting anything properly. Often we’re not even registering that we are eating and this leaves us feeling unsatisfied.

2.       Drink more water. This is so very basic but we forget. As a rule it’s 35ml per kg of body weight so it will be more than you are drinking now. Every cell in your body needs water! And lots of it to function well. Being hydrated supports energy levels, flushes out toxins, keeps our skin looking good, stops us mistaking hunger for thirst and the list goes on. You will definitely pee more but after a week or 2 it settles down. So go chug some water right now!

3.       Prioritise your sleep. Turn off Netflix, put the phone down and get yourself a nightly routine that will help you sleep. Screens at night are indulgent, ultimately they disrupt sleep and keep our brains wired. Sleep is essential to function properly. Being chronically sleep deprived is like drunk driving behind the wheel of a car. Studies show that it increases our stress hormones, leads to craving high sugar and high carb foods as well as an increase in weight. Sleep is the ultimate in self-care.

And yes, I know, nighttime is the only kid free time you get. Got it. It’s also the only time you get to sleep. Try getting some sleep, you’ll cope better through the day and may not be so desperate at night to chew into your sleep just to get a few precious minutes alone. You may even wake earlier and refreshed to get that time instead.

4.       Drink less alcohol. Ok, so I lose so many people on this one, but it is so indulgent. Yes you get relaxation at the time, but the cost can be great. It disrupts your sleep, keeps your liver busy so it can’t detox everything effectively and sidelines it for later. It disrupts digestion, creates anxiety long term (heard of the term hangxiety?), leaves you tired and wanting more because we build up a tolerance to it. I could go on but that should be enough to substantially cut back on the self indulgent habit of a ‘relaxing’ drink. Instead, build stress resilience so you don’t need a drink to unwind. Once you stop the habit, you’ll be surprised at how much better you feel. It is absolutely one of the things I see the biggest results with in the clinic. Yes, just cutting out alcohol can change someone’s health.

5.       Fun through play is essential. Ok so this one doesn’t seem obvious but honestly finding a few minutes everyday to do something silly and have a laugh can change everything. It lowers stress levels, gets you out of your own head, helps you connect with people, brings back joy and allows you to return to the carefree days of childhood. Honestly, take some time to chill without screens, have a laugh and a muck around. You can play tiggy with the kids or try rollerskating, get the hula hoop out, try to juggle or challenge yourself to something you’ve never done before like sing Karaoke. Skies the limit but go give it a go!

I bet after all that you are stewing on the self-indulgent part haha! Of course. It’s like being told you can’t have your favourite toy. I’m not saying NEVER self-indulge. We’re human and the odd indulgence is actually self-care but be cautious it doesn’t become a daily habit that replaces self-care. And make sure it’s a quality, not quantity, indulgence if you know what I mean. Binging on indulgent food or alcohol ain’t going to do you any favours. But the occasional sweet treat or beer isn’t likely to take you back to square one.

So off you go and find some self-care you can practice daily. It’s not hard but you need to practice self care daily for it to make a difference. Care enough about yourself to feed your body properly, water it well, let it rest and breathe so it can continue to cope with all of life’s messiness!

You may be so overwhelmed right now that all of that seems insurmountable. It’s ok. I understand. You may need a little help to take the first step. I help women like you everyday. I see you mama! You can become the mother you want to be with a bit of help. No one is perfect. Definitely not me! But I have walked the path and can help you walk it too. Book yourself in right now, before you chicken out, to get that help. Honestly, it’s ok to get help when things are tough.